This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home.
He calls her on the phone, and says, "I'll be home in an hour."
"Perfect," she replies.
The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before.
He takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife?
She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half."
The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I do?" he asks.
The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?"
"Yes" the man replied.
"Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor.
The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra with the housekeeper..."
One morning a long-wed couple were in an amorous embrace and the wife says: "Honey, that Viagra is so wonderful, let me fix us a nice full breakfast... eggs, bacon, toast..."
The husband says: "No, I'm not hungry, the Viagra takes away my appetite."
Later in the day, the wife says: "Sweetheart, I want to do something for you, let me fix you a nice wholesome lunch, fresh salad with your favorite ingredients, steamed veggies, and some grilled fish fillets..."
The husband again refuses, "I'm just not hungry after using that Viagra."
Long about dinner time, the wife tries again, "Are you hungry yet?, I'll fix a steak and potatoes dinner with hot rolls."
The husband still refuses, "No, that Viagra just kills my appetite."
The wife then firmly says "well, I'm getting something to eat, so get OFF of me!!!"
A man goes on vacation to the Caribbean, quickly falls asleep on the sand and ends up with a wicked sunburn.
Wincing in pain as even a slight wind touches his scorched skin, the man hobbles off to the local doctor for help.
The doctor takes one look at the man's legs and says, "I don't have anything to treat sunburn that bad. Try taking these Viagra pills."
"I've got sunburn!" cries the man. "What the hell's Viagra going to do?"
"Well, nothing for the sunburn," the doctor replies. "But it will help keep the sheets off your legs tonight."
A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist. She asked, "Do you have Viagra?"
"Yes," he answered.
She asked, "Does it work?"
"Yes," he answered.
"Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.
"I can if I take two," he answered.
A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra.
The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?"
The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep."
The man says, "And the Viagra?"
"Keeps him from falling out of bed."
Short Viagra Bits:
A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription exclaimed over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: "Oh, $40 a year isn't too bad."
If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!
Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Men are being warned not to take Viagra with nitrates after five gentlemen in India did so and changed the balance of power in the region.
The difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara Falls.
What do you get when you smoke pot and take Viagra?... Stiff joints!
A bank sign in Dallas during this heat wave complains: "Who put Viagra in the thermometer?"
Fun Fact:
Viagra® was developed for the treatment of pain associated with angina. In test groups from 1980-1990, it did nothing at all for that condition. Test subjects didn't want to discontinue its use because of its now-famous side effect.
Viagra® was developed during the 1980's for the treatment of pain associated with angina. However, testing showed that Viagra did nothing at all for people suffering that condition. But, after testing was completed - researchers noticed that test subjects didn't want to discontinue use of the drug because of the its now-famous side effect.
This website is not endorsed or affiliated with the Viagra ® drug company "Pfizer". All trademarks and registered trademarks are of their respective companies. Viagra ® is a registered trademark of Pfizer Inc. Viagra ® is a prescription medicine used to treat erectile dysfunction. Only a physician should decide if it is appropriate for you. This page is for the purpose of humor and is not intended to provide serious health information. (Duh!) If you have further questions or would like more information about Viagra ®, consult a physician or pharmacist. Information can also be obtained by visiting Pfizer at viagra.com .
This old man in his 70's got up and was putting on his hat and coat.
His wife said, "Where are you going?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she asked, "Are you sick?"
"No - I'm going to buy me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her coat and he said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you are going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to need a tetanus shot."
A woman goes to the doctor complaining that her husband is losing interest in sex.
The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his food at dinner.
So, that night at dinner, she does.
A week later she's back at the doctor's.
She says, 'Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the food like you suggested. It wasn't five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravishes me right there on the table.'
The doctor says, 'I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.'
'Don't worry about it...' she says, 'that's okay. We wouldn't go back to that restaurant anyway.'
